The Election is round the corner and we need to choose the right leaders to represent us. After all we live in one of the largest democracies of the world. And in a democracy, we get to choose the person that we would like to represent us.
What kind of person would you like to represent yourself? Somebody with your kind of attitude, intelligence, ideas and dreams or someone who is very different from you? Of course, most of us, would like to choose representatives who are intelligent, culturally rooted, fearless, well-mannered and trustworthy.
But how can we test the candidates and find out if they have such qualities? Well, psychiatry has devised some real smart tests to find out if your candidate is good enough to be elected. Let’s just apply these tests for fun and check out our candidates:
1. TEST FOR INTELLIGENCE:
The most important aspect of intelligence is the ability to think in an abstract manner. Abstraction is the ability to conceptualize things that have no form and to find deeper meanings in things. In some classic intelligence tests, the testee is asked to tell the similarity between an orange and an apple, a pen and a pencil, a table and a chair, a poem and a painting, a seed and a man, etc.
Immature individuals with less intelligence usually say the differences, such as “The orange is yellow, the apple is red. You need to remove the skin of the orange, whereas you are eat an apple with its skin.” Or “you sit on a chair, but you don’t sit on a table.” In all such cases, the testee is only able to tell the ways in which the two items are different.
Individuals with slightly higher levels of intelligence talk about the functions of the objects. Or their merits and demerits. For example, “A table is to write on and a chair is to sit on. The poem is written, but the painting is drawn. The seed is small, man is big, man eats the seed” are the usual explanations given.
It is only those individuals with high intelligence who immediately notice the similarity. They promptly say, “An orange and apple, they are both fruits. A pen and pencil are both stationery items. Table and chair are furniture, poem and painting are both works of art. A seed and man are both living things”
So you see folks, it is only the intelligent mind that can make abstractions and see the ultimate similarity among two dissimilar items. It is only an intelligent politician who will say, “Hindu and Muslim, they are both humans”, whereas a dumb politician would probably cite differences instead of similarities.
So check out your politician, if s/he says “Every life has equal value, irrespective of its caste, creed, colour, gender or affiliation,” then you can immediately know that s/he is intelligent enough to be your representative. But if your politician is dumb or reckless and says crazy things like, “If somebody lifts a hand against Hindus, or thinks they are weak, there is nobody behind them, then I swear on the Bhagavad Gita that I will cut off that hand". Or "All the Hindus stay on this side and send the others to Pakistan”, then we know the guy is not even leader material, whose ever great grandson, grandson or son he is.
2. TEST FOR CULTURAL ROOTEDNESS:
Several eons ago, what now is called India, was actually a part of Africa. The land mass broke away and drifted up the oceans. It docked itself below another landmass called Asia; the sea in between the two land masses cooled, rose high and froze into mountains. Today we call these mountains the Himalayas. From the top of the mountain, the ice melts and forms the Ganga, considered to be a holy river. But underneath, the Himalayas contains the bones and shells of all those sea animals that got trapped in the mountain ranges.
What we consider as one country today, was actually part of another country before. For example in Asoka’s time, Kalinga was not part of Magadha. He had to wage a war to annex that territory. But both these kingdoms are today part of another bigger sovereign state called India.
Before 1947 people living in Lahore, considered themselves to be Indian. But after 1947, their nationality and identity changed. They were no longer Indian. A new country had emerged. It was called Pakisthan. And so the people in Lahore, had to change their nationality to Pakistani. But they were the same people, living in the same area. Just their label had changed. Nothing else.
Let’s also consider this. Until about 6th century AD, most Indians were either practising Jainism or Buddhism. Vedic religions were not popular then. But after the 7th and 8th century the same people who practised Buddhism and Jainism gradually converted to newer religions such as Saivism and Vainavism. These same people after a few centuries, converted to Islam due to the invasion of the Mughals in the north and the Arab traders in the south. Some others converted to Christianity after the influence of the British, and Portuguese invaders. Under all these various religious labels, the people have always been the same. Just their faith changed. That’s all.
We do not know what the future has in hold for us. New labels get created all the time, in the name of region, religion, language, creed, community and what not. But underneath all these different labels, all humans are the same. We all came from the same ancestor; we all are of the same blood.
If your politician is aware of this rich Indian heritage, and understands that different faiths can peacefully co-exist here, then he is fit to be your leader. If he is some half baked upstart who talks about “Maharashtra is only for Maharashtrians, all your people from other parts of India, get out of this city,” then you know he is not the right candidate for you.
3. TEST FOR FEARLESSNESS:
A true leader must be able to face conflicts and handle difficult situations deftly. S/he must be able to negotiate peace and patch up fragments. S/he must be able to take critical situations in her/his stride and move on with the business of running the government smoothly and efficiently.
There may be a tsunami, an earthquake, or a major difference of opinion among the population, some may support one line of thought and other may oppose it, there may be tension and stress. But a true leader must be able to go to the battle field and face the circumstances bravely. If your candidate is known to take such courageous steps, then s/he is the one for you. But if the said candidate is someone who pretends to fall ill and gets admitted in some hospital for some fictitious illness that needs no treatment, yet undergoes some major “complicated, life threatening surgery” when severe conflicts rage in his territory, then you know, your candidate is not even brave enough to face challenges. S/he is probably not even fit to represent you. Her/his health is so precarious that you ought to find a healthier representative to do the difficult job of leading the nation.
4. TEST FOR MANNERS:
Governance is very serious business. It involves a lot of media attention. Not to mention the money, the strings of power and the infinite possibilities to better the quality of life of the hapless voters. Any individual involved in such an important business must have some morality, ethics and basic manners.
Check out your candidate and find out if s/he has adequate integrity? Any immoral acts? Dishonesty in personal or public life? Promiscuity? Criminal record? Does the person tend to lie through his/her teeth and cover up deficiencies with sweet talk and oodles of charm?
How does the candidate talk about his opponents? Does s/he treat them with due respect, dignity and courtesy or does s/he treat him/her with disdain, contempt and mockery?
Gentle banter and leg pulling in the name of good clean humour is all okay. But does your candidate get down to mudslinging and behave petty? Does your candidate offer praise where it is due and tone down criticism even when it is deserved? Does your candidate know to play the game in the spirit of the game, or does s/he behave like a spoilt brat who cannot take no for an answer.
If your candidate is morally upright, ethically sound and well mannered, then s/he is the right choice to represent you. But if the candidate has serious flaws then you might have to reject his candidature. No point in having someone so worthless represent you, is there?
5. TEST FOR TRUSTWORTHINESS:
When difficult circumstances arise, then would your candidate stand for the truth, come what may? Is his/her integrity beyond all doubt? Does s/he keep up her/his words? Is s/he known to be nepotistic? Does this person curry favours for his/her own kith and kin and makes sure that his/her family gets all the benefits of powerdom?
Even Fidel Castro, the famous communist leader of Cuba, did not want to let power slip into the hands of nonfamily. When Fidel was sick and bedridden, he quickly transferred all his Presidenthood to his brother Raul Castro. Not to an able outsider. Not to any other efficient comrade who had fought grave battles for him. When it came to power, even the popular communist hero, who was against all private ownership decided to hand over charges only to his own blood brother.
Even in our own country, we find blatant exhibits of nepotism - most politicians field their own children into fresh elections. If their children are not of contestable age, then they settle for their submissive wives. If there is no wife, then the politician would typically settle for some dumb, subservient wife-like man to play puppet. All that matters to them is, by some means to hold on to the power within their reach.
If your candidate is so selfish and nepotistic, then how well would s/he serve you as a leader? So do consider the nepotism ratio before you decide to cast your vote for your candidate.
Well, people, these are some of the fun tests that you can apply to check out the votability of your favourite candidates. If you find someone who fits the bill at least by the long shot, then go ahead and make him your representative. If you think there is no one good enough to represent you, then mention that to the polling officer. This election gives you the liberty not to vote too! Thank the EC for small mercies!
Sunday, 12 April 2009
Tuesday, 7 April 2009
Thursday, 2 April 2009
Friday, 13 March 2009
Mangalore Pub Incident
Surely you must have heard of the Mangalore Pub incident that happened a few weeks ago. Few girls had been to a pub and that was sufficient to annoy some guys who called themselves, Sri Ram Senaiks. The troopers just walked into the pub, pulled up the girls, called them bad names, slapped them, pushed them, taunted them and literally sent them crying out on to the streets, barefoot and all.
And here we are celebrating yet another International Woman’s Day. Well, time to take stock of the situation, and try to understand why such things happen to the Bharatiya Nari even in the year 2009?
To be fair to the Sri Ram Senaiks, pubbing indirectly means alcohol consumption. Alcohol consumption is unhealthy beyond a point, and is quite objectionable. But then Indian men have been drinking alcohol for so many years now. On any street in Tamilnadu, you’d find drunken men weaving their way to the nearest TASMAC shop for more booze. Why did the Sri Ram Seninks just ignore these men who drink? Don’t they care for the Bharatiya Naras as much as they care about the Naris?
Even considering that the SRS guys have great care and concern for the women of this nation, why did they barge into a pub? And why did they bash up the girls lounging there? Is it because they believed that women drinking alcohol is against the Indian ethic? If that is the case, then one only has to read the ancient Indian scriptures, such as the Rig Veda. Almost every stanza of the Rig talks about the bliss of the Soma Juice and it is obvious that Soma juice was drunk by both the men and the women of the Rig times. Down south, the famous Tamil poetess Avvaiyar has sung songs in praise of a king who offers her good wine to drink. So, it is not like alcohol and women never mixed in the Indian ethic. Ancient Indians were quite aware of the fact that alcohol has no gender barriers.
That does not mean that we can endorse alcohol as the next national drink. We know for a fact that irrespective of the gender, alcohol like anything else is dangerous in excess. But it does sound sexist and chauvinistic to prohibit one half of humankind from going to pubs, just because they happen to be of the female gender. Even the famous Indian heritage, ancient as it is, never had such gender bias, ever.
So, the real Indian Heritage has nothing to do with gender discriminatory alcohol ban, then what else could have caused the Mangalore Pub incident? Could it be that, girls meet boys in the pubs and that is against the Indian Heritage? Again the answer is no, because the Indian culture is full of festivals and celebrations that are designed to the girls and boys of marriable ages together, be it Holi, Vasant Utsav, Indra Vizha etc, which were the Indian equivalents of Valentine’s Day. Indian tradition has always held love and sex in very high regard. So much so that, Indian temples have explicit images of love making scenes, all aimed at the yet uninitiated youth. Pubbing is only a post modern form of the same old boy meets girl routine that has been sung about repeatedly in all our ancient literature. So, obviously pubbing is not against the Indian ethic.
Then why else did the SRS guys get so mad with the girls in the pub? Because they were skimpily dressed, and that is against the Indian ethic? Again the answer is a big no, because ancient Indian women were even more skimpily dressed than the present day girls. All the paintings of ancient Indians, right from the caves in Ajantha and Ellora in West India, to Sitrannavaasal in South India, show the women as bare-chested beauties with minimal clothing. It is a fact that women in South East Asia; Indians, Ceylonese, Malays, Sumatrans, Javanese and Polynesians had all been bare-chested until a few centuries ago. Present day Asians are all very modestly dressed when compared to their ancient day compatriots. And yet, they get abused in the name of Cultural Preservation, why?
Is it because, these girls had been whiling their time in the pub when they could have spent the time in more useful ways? Is that what is so anti Indian heritage? Is that what made the Sri Ram Seniks so mad with rage? Again, the answer is a no. Consider, Shankuntala, consider Sita, also do consider Anusuya, these women, Indian, ancient and good girls that they were, were so jobless, that all they ever did for most of their lives was to lounge around the prehistoric trees, pining away for their lovers. It is nothing new and nothing anti Indian, in fact, if our literature is to be believed, whiling was the only time pass for the ancient Bharatiya Nari and so that couldn’t possibly be the reason why the Sri Ram Seniks bashed up the Mangalore girls.
So why did they do it? Why did they abuse hapless girls and traumatize them for life?
Well, search as we might, the answer cannot be found in the tenets of the Indian Culture, for it has nothing to do with the culture of any particular country. All over the world men, aggregate into mobs and attack women, all in the name of preserving their cultural roots and religious beliefs. In Germany, women who were employed at par with the men were burned alive in the name of the God. It was then called Witch Hunting, and it was considered pre-approved by the religious men. Women were burned in public and no one raised a protest. For anything done in the name of god is considered morally right, even it is obviously wrong.
In Algeria, twenty years ago, women who used make up were beaten up and gnashed on their faces, as artificial makeup was considered sacrilegious, it was held to be against the word of God. All of us who have read about ancient Egypt would know that make up was nothing abnormal. It was considered to be a part of the daily routine in ancient Egypt. Yet, when the religious fanatics of Algeria, claimed that makeup was taboo and hence punishable, people just believed them and simply watched as many young women were mutilated for the offence of beautifying themselves.
In Afghanistan, the religious men went one step further. Leave alone beautifying, just exposing natural body parts such as the face, hands and feet, of the women was considered sacrilegious. And so Afghan women had to cover themselves up in burkhas that made them formless and faceless.
Why do men indulge in such behavior? Why do men in so many parts of the world, try to curtail the autonomy of the women, in the name of religion? All the religions of the world preach peace, equality, tolerance and love for all. Yet why do some men, twist religion and make it seem like the woman is subordinate and needs to be forever under the man’s control?
Well, the answer is not religious, it is genetic! Strange as it may sound, it is common knowledge in the world of genetics, that one set of genes can try and manipulate the other in order to increase its chances of survival. For example, some desert spiders practice cannibalism. The female spider eats up the male after he has finished impregnating her. It may sound mean, cruel and immoral, but the truth is: the male spider’s life time gets over immediately after he ejaculates. He would anyway die, that’s how nature has designed him. Living in a desert would mean food scarcity. The pregnant lady spider would need a lot of nutrition to make her little ones grow. Where could she get this nutrition from? The male would any way die, some other insects would anyway make a meal of his body, so what not the spideress herself? It is only going to benefit his own kids….and so it makes complete genetic sense that the lady spider gulps down her mate. This is a genetic strategy to improve the survival of one’s genes.
Now what has that got to do with the Mangalore pub incident, you may wonder? Well, it is just that, the male and the female of any species, is always fighting a genetic battle. The male cannot reproduce on his own; he needs to use the female’s resources, her body. But the female does not donate her body to further the male’s genes, unless she is sure that she will get only the best of the genes. This sets a competition among the males. Each male would have to prove to the female that he is the very best, only then will she choose to offer her body to spread his genes. Darwin called this Sexual Selection. And in all species of life on earth, it is female who selects the male, for her body is more precious, because only that is capable of procreation.
All the species of males, try to get selected by the female. They grow long tails, beautiful antlers, tusks, plumes, feathers, fins, some even go to the extent of glowing lights to attract the female. The female, plain and inconspicuous as she is in most species, carefully measures up the males and finally chooses the best of the lot. And so the fittest gets to survive.
This system works well for all species of life on earth. But the human males are different. They are intelligent, and so they have always tried to find a way out of this problem. As long as the female does the choosing, she would have a genetic upper hand over the male. And Nature has provided the female with a razor sharp brain to sniff the best genes in a jiffy. The real best Alpha man is secure in his confidence, he is sure to win her favours, and so he just lets her be. But those Omega men, who are less than the best are forever insecure, for they know the female would never choose them. And so they devise ways to usurp the women’s power, by making sure that the woman never uses her formidable brain.
In all the cultures where the men are backward and fear their own failure, the first thing that they do is deny women, their right to education and the right to interaction with others. With no education and no interaction, the women, quickly lose the sharpness of their brains. They then depend on the men for knowledge and guidance. Without the brain, the woman becomes a mere body and the man who retains his hold on knowledge, now has the power to manipulate her into submission. Ordinarily the woman would object, question or protest such subjugation, because her instincts would scream that this is all against her own survival.
To quell her protest, the male uses religion as a weapon. “In the name of god, this is how you should behave…..” the man thus conveniently misuses the concept of the Almighty, to enslave the women. If a stray woman refuses to submit, the male then uses violence, insult and torture, to terrorize the women. Thus shocked into submission, the woman then becomes putty in the hands of the men. And typically such men, ban contraception and quickly start spreading their genes in great numbers. Eventually all the bad genes aggregate, and despite all the men’s effort to spread their lines, such closed civilizations fall, and are easily captured by mightier civilizations. And typically all mighty civilizations are the ones where women enjoy autonomy. For only when the women are free to select the best genes, would the best genes thrive and aggregate to make a mighty civilization.
In every culture, there are Alpha men, great and free thinking and Omega men, mean, dumb and nasty. The Alpha men attract the woman without any effort. And so such alpha men treat the women as equals. But the Omega men, cannot attract women on their own, so they invent an imaginary Apha man, some male god, with all kinds of superior endowments, and use him as a lure to attract the women.
The real smart women, who use their own minds, who have their own money, and freedom to do as they please, as for example lounge in a pub in some city, are all dangerous in the eyes of such an insecure man. For such smart women would see through his tricks, look down upon him and reject him. Not only that, she would probably tell all other woman, about his dumb tricks and then all the women would join together and collectively reject his genes. The only way out, is to shut her mouth by maiming her physically, or better still psychologically. And the best way to do it is to terrorize her.
This is what happened in the Mangalore Pub. In any other closed country, where the government is religious, public is apathetic and the media is weak, such an incident would have indeed worked the trick. The women would well have been subjugated. But thankfully, India is a free country, with vibrant young minds that refuse to buckle under pseudoreligious pressures. And so we are here, analyzing the incident, not its consequences.
And here we are celebrating yet another International Woman’s Day. Well, time to take stock of the situation, and try to understand why such things happen to the Bharatiya Nari even in the year 2009?
To be fair to the Sri Ram Senaiks, pubbing indirectly means alcohol consumption. Alcohol consumption is unhealthy beyond a point, and is quite objectionable. But then Indian men have been drinking alcohol for so many years now. On any street in Tamilnadu, you’d find drunken men weaving their way to the nearest TASMAC shop for more booze. Why did the Sri Ram Seninks just ignore these men who drink? Don’t they care for the Bharatiya Naras as much as they care about the Naris?
Even considering that the SRS guys have great care and concern for the women of this nation, why did they barge into a pub? And why did they bash up the girls lounging there? Is it because they believed that women drinking alcohol is against the Indian ethic? If that is the case, then one only has to read the ancient Indian scriptures, such as the Rig Veda. Almost every stanza of the Rig talks about the bliss of the Soma Juice and it is obvious that Soma juice was drunk by both the men and the women of the Rig times. Down south, the famous Tamil poetess Avvaiyar has sung songs in praise of a king who offers her good wine to drink. So, it is not like alcohol and women never mixed in the Indian ethic. Ancient Indians were quite aware of the fact that alcohol has no gender barriers.
That does not mean that we can endorse alcohol as the next national drink. We know for a fact that irrespective of the gender, alcohol like anything else is dangerous in excess. But it does sound sexist and chauvinistic to prohibit one half of humankind from going to pubs, just because they happen to be of the female gender. Even the famous Indian heritage, ancient as it is, never had such gender bias, ever.
So, the real Indian Heritage has nothing to do with gender discriminatory alcohol ban, then what else could have caused the Mangalore Pub incident? Could it be that, girls meet boys in the pubs and that is against the Indian Heritage? Again the answer is no, because the Indian culture is full of festivals and celebrations that are designed to the girls and boys of marriable ages together, be it Holi, Vasant Utsav, Indra Vizha etc, which were the Indian equivalents of Valentine’s Day. Indian tradition has always held love and sex in very high regard. So much so that, Indian temples have explicit images of love making scenes, all aimed at the yet uninitiated youth. Pubbing is only a post modern form of the same old boy meets girl routine that has been sung about repeatedly in all our ancient literature. So, obviously pubbing is not against the Indian ethic.
Then why else did the SRS guys get so mad with the girls in the pub? Because they were skimpily dressed, and that is against the Indian ethic? Again the answer is a big no, because ancient Indian women were even more skimpily dressed than the present day girls. All the paintings of ancient Indians, right from the caves in Ajantha and Ellora in West India, to Sitrannavaasal in South India, show the women as bare-chested beauties with minimal clothing. It is a fact that women in South East Asia; Indians, Ceylonese, Malays, Sumatrans, Javanese and Polynesians had all been bare-chested until a few centuries ago. Present day Asians are all very modestly dressed when compared to their ancient day compatriots. And yet, they get abused in the name of Cultural Preservation, why?
Is it because, these girls had been whiling their time in the pub when they could have spent the time in more useful ways? Is that what is so anti Indian heritage? Is that what made the Sri Ram Seniks so mad with rage? Again, the answer is a no. Consider, Shankuntala, consider Sita, also do consider Anusuya, these women, Indian, ancient and good girls that they were, were so jobless, that all they ever did for most of their lives was to lounge around the prehistoric trees, pining away for their lovers. It is nothing new and nothing anti Indian, in fact, if our literature is to be believed, whiling was the only time pass for the ancient Bharatiya Nari and so that couldn’t possibly be the reason why the Sri Ram Seniks bashed up the Mangalore girls.
So why did they do it? Why did they abuse hapless girls and traumatize them for life?
Well, search as we might, the answer cannot be found in the tenets of the Indian Culture, for it has nothing to do with the culture of any particular country. All over the world men, aggregate into mobs and attack women, all in the name of preserving their cultural roots and religious beliefs. In Germany, women who were employed at par with the men were burned alive in the name of the God. It was then called Witch Hunting, and it was considered pre-approved by the religious men. Women were burned in public and no one raised a protest. For anything done in the name of god is considered morally right, even it is obviously wrong.
In Algeria, twenty years ago, women who used make up were beaten up and gnashed on their faces, as artificial makeup was considered sacrilegious, it was held to be against the word of God. All of us who have read about ancient Egypt would know that make up was nothing abnormal. It was considered to be a part of the daily routine in ancient Egypt. Yet, when the religious fanatics of Algeria, claimed that makeup was taboo and hence punishable, people just believed them and simply watched as many young women were mutilated for the offence of beautifying themselves.
In Afghanistan, the religious men went one step further. Leave alone beautifying, just exposing natural body parts such as the face, hands and feet, of the women was considered sacrilegious. And so Afghan women had to cover themselves up in burkhas that made them formless and faceless.
Why do men indulge in such behavior? Why do men in so many parts of the world, try to curtail the autonomy of the women, in the name of religion? All the religions of the world preach peace, equality, tolerance and love for all. Yet why do some men, twist religion and make it seem like the woman is subordinate and needs to be forever under the man’s control?
Well, the answer is not religious, it is genetic! Strange as it may sound, it is common knowledge in the world of genetics, that one set of genes can try and manipulate the other in order to increase its chances of survival. For example, some desert spiders practice cannibalism. The female spider eats up the male after he has finished impregnating her. It may sound mean, cruel and immoral, but the truth is: the male spider’s life time gets over immediately after he ejaculates. He would anyway die, that’s how nature has designed him. Living in a desert would mean food scarcity. The pregnant lady spider would need a lot of nutrition to make her little ones grow. Where could she get this nutrition from? The male would any way die, some other insects would anyway make a meal of his body, so what not the spideress herself? It is only going to benefit his own kids….and so it makes complete genetic sense that the lady spider gulps down her mate. This is a genetic strategy to improve the survival of one’s genes.
Now what has that got to do with the Mangalore pub incident, you may wonder? Well, it is just that, the male and the female of any species, is always fighting a genetic battle. The male cannot reproduce on his own; he needs to use the female’s resources, her body. But the female does not donate her body to further the male’s genes, unless she is sure that she will get only the best of the genes. This sets a competition among the males. Each male would have to prove to the female that he is the very best, only then will she choose to offer her body to spread his genes. Darwin called this Sexual Selection. And in all species of life on earth, it is female who selects the male, for her body is more precious, because only that is capable of procreation.
All the species of males, try to get selected by the female. They grow long tails, beautiful antlers, tusks, plumes, feathers, fins, some even go to the extent of glowing lights to attract the female. The female, plain and inconspicuous as she is in most species, carefully measures up the males and finally chooses the best of the lot. And so the fittest gets to survive.
This system works well for all species of life on earth. But the human males are different. They are intelligent, and so they have always tried to find a way out of this problem. As long as the female does the choosing, she would have a genetic upper hand over the male. And Nature has provided the female with a razor sharp brain to sniff the best genes in a jiffy. The real best Alpha man is secure in his confidence, he is sure to win her favours, and so he just lets her be. But those Omega men, who are less than the best are forever insecure, for they know the female would never choose them. And so they devise ways to usurp the women’s power, by making sure that the woman never uses her formidable brain.
In all the cultures where the men are backward and fear their own failure, the first thing that they do is deny women, their right to education and the right to interaction with others. With no education and no interaction, the women, quickly lose the sharpness of their brains. They then depend on the men for knowledge and guidance. Without the brain, the woman becomes a mere body and the man who retains his hold on knowledge, now has the power to manipulate her into submission. Ordinarily the woman would object, question or protest such subjugation, because her instincts would scream that this is all against her own survival.
To quell her protest, the male uses religion as a weapon. “In the name of god, this is how you should behave…..” the man thus conveniently misuses the concept of the Almighty, to enslave the women. If a stray woman refuses to submit, the male then uses violence, insult and torture, to terrorize the women. Thus shocked into submission, the woman then becomes putty in the hands of the men. And typically such men, ban contraception and quickly start spreading their genes in great numbers. Eventually all the bad genes aggregate, and despite all the men’s effort to spread their lines, such closed civilizations fall, and are easily captured by mightier civilizations. And typically all mighty civilizations are the ones where women enjoy autonomy. For only when the women are free to select the best genes, would the best genes thrive and aggregate to make a mighty civilization.
In every culture, there are Alpha men, great and free thinking and Omega men, mean, dumb and nasty. The Alpha men attract the woman without any effort. And so such alpha men treat the women as equals. But the Omega men, cannot attract women on their own, so they invent an imaginary Apha man, some male god, with all kinds of superior endowments, and use him as a lure to attract the women.
The real smart women, who use their own minds, who have their own money, and freedom to do as they please, as for example lounge in a pub in some city, are all dangerous in the eyes of such an insecure man. For such smart women would see through his tricks, look down upon him and reject him. Not only that, she would probably tell all other woman, about his dumb tricks and then all the women would join together and collectively reject his genes. The only way out, is to shut her mouth by maiming her physically, or better still psychologically. And the best way to do it is to terrorize her.
This is what happened in the Mangalore Pub. In any other closed country, where the government is religious, public is apathetic and the media is weak, such an incident would have indeed worked the trick. The women would well have been subjugated. But thankfully, India is a free country, with vibrant young minds that refuse to buckle under pseudoreligious pressures. And so we are here, analyzing the incident, not its consequences.
Wednesday, 8 October 2008
greek love
Man to Man love is considered quite abnormal by some. But this was the regular happening in ancient Greece, Eygpt and Sumeria. So common was this practice of males falling in love and living with other males, that the ancient Greeks considered it very natural. From mythical heroes such as Apollo, Zeus and Achilles to real life men such as Aristotle and Alexander the Great, homosexuality was so common that it was even called “Greek Love.” And Greek love was not frowned upon, it was considered normal. So much so that ancient Greek art, sculpture, literature, mythology and history is full of homosexual references.
But ideologies changed over time. Later literature began to view homosexuality as immoral, sinful and abnormal. Religions preached against homosexuality and gradually over the past two thousand years, homosexuality became unacceptable to society. Laws written in the last centuries such as the Indian Penal Code, consider homosexuality an unnatural offence and the perpetrator can be imprisoned for the act.
For long people believed that homosexuality was abnormal and hence to be prohibited. But in spite of this strong cultural taboo, homosexuality continued in secrecy. Great writers like Oscar Wilde suffered because of this homosexual leaning, which was at that time a kind of “forbidden love”.
But lately science has come up with strong evidences to prove that homosexuality is not unnatural. Several species of animals, such as bees, sheep, birds, monkeys, apes, etc have been found to have spontaneous homosexual bonding. The brain of such homosexual individuals has been found to be quite different from those with heterosexual orientation. Thus it is quite clear that homosexuality is just a natural variation, not a deviation. Much like left handedness.
With more and more evidences emerging to show that homosexuality does exist in nature, most countries have shed off their earlier concerns about “unnatural offence” and their legal systems have scraped away the punishments for homosexuality. Many countries even permit homosexual marriages.
India is yet to join the list of countries that have thus updated their laws and so in India homosexuality continues to be an offence to this day. Therefore, the homosexual population in India leads a secretive life, still unable to “come out” and openly admit their sexual preference.
And in a quirky kind of a way, the gender that bears the brunt of this law is not the male, but the female! Because the society does not permit a man to openly express his homosexual orientation, he is forced to marry a woman to at least “save his face” , fit into the society and make his family proud. But because he is biologically designed to fall in love and be sexual motivated by a man, this husband is usually unable to keep his wife happy. Most wives never know the reason for their husband’s “cold shoulder” behavior, but when they do, the consequences can be quite pathetic.
Last year in Kolkatta, a 32 year old wife committed suicide after she discovered that her husband was gay. Apparently she had confronted the husband several times on the issue, but he was never able to change his ways. The wife was tortured mentally and physically. She decided to end her life on the eve of their 5th wedding anniversary.
And it is not like the men are happy to thus cheat on their wives. Given a choice, most gay men would prefer to just live with the man they love and never consider marrying a woman. However, outdated laws such as this and the “marry and have a baby, that’s what life’s all about” kind of attitude that Indians still have, force such men into such loveless heterosexual marriages.
There are still some other kinds of men who are bisexual. These individuals can make love to a male or a female with equal fervor, because their minds are sexually oriented to both genders. A bisexual man may be married to one woman, but may have extra marital affairs with other men. Either way, the victim is the woman.
What could a woman do if she discovers that she has been married to a gay man? Should she tell others or suffer in silence and protect the dignity of her husband, as would befit the “Adarsha Barathya Naari”? Should she walk out and file for a divorce? Does the Indian Marriage act have a clause that makes homosexuality a reason for divorce? Or should she put up with this loveless life and uphold her husband’s place under the Indian sun? Should she try to work the marriage despite all these odds? If there are children, what should she tell them or should she keep it a secret? Is the wife now at risk for sexually transmitted diseases? And what about if the husband only has gay orientation, and always dreams of making love to men but has never done that so far? Just how should a woman deal with a gay husband?
Of course, if the husband has been sexually active with another partner, irrespective of the gender, then the wife is at risk for sexually transmitted diseases. The first thing she should do, is meet her doctor, check herself and her husband up and make sure she is safe from STDs. This will take care of her physical health. What about her mental health? This sense of betrayal may scar her emotionally. The wife would benefit from consulting a mental health professional then.
ps: copy pasted from INBOX 1305
But ideologies changed over time. Later literature began to view homosexuality as immoral, sinful and abnormal. Religions preached against homosexuality and gradually over the past two thousand years, homosexuality became unacceptable to society. Laws written in the last centuries such as the Indian Penal Code, consider homosexuality an unnatural offence and the perpetrator can be imprisoned for the act.
For long people believed that homosexuality was abnormal and hence to be prohibited. But in spite of this strong cultural taboo, homosexuality continued in secrecy. Great writers like Oscar Wilde suffered because of this homosexual leaning, which was at that time a kind of “forbidden love”.
But lately science has come up with strong evidences to prove that homosexuality is not unnatural. Several species of animals, such as bees, sheep, birds, monkeys, apes, etc have been found to have spontaneous homosexual bonding. The brain of such homosexual individuals has been found to be quite different from those with heterosexual orientation. Thus it is quite clear that homosexuality is just a natural variation, not a deviation. Much like left handedness.
With more and more evidences emerging to show that homosexuality does exist in nature, most countries have shed off their earlier concerns about “unnatural offence” and their legal systems have scraped away the punishments for homosexuality. Many countries even permit homosexual marriages.
India is yet to join the list of countries that have thus updated their laws and so in India homosexuality continues to be an offence to this day. Therefore, the homosexual population in India leads a secretive life, still unable to “come out” and openly admit their sexual preference.
And in a quirky kind of a way, the gender that bears the brunt of this law is not the male, but the female! Because the society does not permit a man to openly express his homosexual orientation, he is forced to marry a woman to at least “save his face” , fit into the society and make his family proud. But because he is biologically designed to fall in love and be sexual motivated by a man, this husband is usually unable to keep his wife happy. Most wives never know the reason for their husband’s “cold shoulder” behavior, but when they do, the consequences can be quite pathetic.
Last year in Kolkatta, a 32 year old wife committed suicide after she discovered that her husband was gay. Apparently she had confronted the husband several times on the issue, but he was never able to change his ways. The wife was tortured mentally and physically. She decided to end her life on the eve of their 5th wedding anniversary.
And it is not like the men are happy to thus cheat on their wives. Given a choice, most gay men would prefer to just live with the man they love and never consider marrying a woman. However, outdated laws such as this and the “marry and have a baby, that’s what life’s all about” kind of attitude that Indians still have, force such men into such loveless heterosexual marriages.
There are still some other kinds of men who are bisexual. These individuals can make love to a male or a female with equal fervor, because their minds are sexually oriented to both genders. A bisexual man may be married to one woman, but may have extra marital affairs with other men. Either way, the victim is the woman.
What could a woman do if she discovers that she has been married to a gay man? Should she tell others or suffer in silence and protect the dignity of her husband, as would befit the “Adarsha Barathya Naari”? Should she walk out and file for a divorce? Does the Indian Marriage act have a clause that makes homosexuality a reason for divorce? Or should she put up with this loveless life and uphold her husband’s place under the Indian sun? Should she try to work the marriage despite all these odds? If there are children, what should she tell them or should she keep it a secret? Is the wife now at risk for sexually transmitted diseases? And what about if the husband only has gay orientation, and always dreams of making love to men but has never done that so far? Just how should a woman deal with a gay husband?
Of course, if the husband has been sexually active with another partner, irrespective of the gender, then the wife is at risk for sexually transmitted diseases. The first thing she should do, is meet her doctor, check herself and her husband up and make sure she is safe from STDs. This will take care of her physical health. What about her mental health? This sense of betrayal may scar her emotionally. The wife would benefit from consulting a mental health professional then.
ps: copy pasted from INBOX 1305
Tuesday, 2 September 2008
Changing Genders
Ms X is one of those regular girls we’d meet anywhere in India, she was tall, dusky, pretty and smart. And she hated being a woman. She felt her gender gave her no advantages. “How I wish I had been a man! Then I could have gone anywhere, anytime, no questions asked. I’d have so much freedom. No one would stare at my breasts or try to harass me. No periods to worry about! And best of all, I will not need to pretend to be subordinate to men! I can be their equal!”
Girls like Ms X are so common, it is a fact the most women today would have preferred to be a boy rather than be a girl. But the curious fact is, nowadays more and more boys have started wanting to become girls.
As for example Mr Y. He is a tall, athletic and well made young man. He is intelligent, broad-minded, artistic and quite gentle. One would think girls would just love to spend time with him. But the sad twist is, he does not like to spend time with girls. Mr Y thinks he himself is a girl and likes to spend time with macho men.
From his childhood Y had always preferred to play with girls’ dolls; he liked playing with crockery, wearing frilly dresses, long hair and lots of make-up. His mother had found his play-preferences very amusing. She even helped him dress up like a girl and had taken his photographs in frilly costumes. None of those who later saw the picture could guess that the girl in the picture was actually a boy; he looked so girlish. And Y was so proud of that.
His father would for the most part ignore the son’s antics. Those days that he actually noticed his son’s effeminate tendencies, father got really angry and scolded him for behaving like a hijra. Little Y never knew what that word meant. But in his heart, he longed to become a girl. Somehow he felt it was just not right for him to be a male.
When he turned 14 years, Y started developing hair over his face. He hated that. He wanted to have a flawless skin with no whiskers. He carefully kept shaving his whiskers, and when he was sure his mother would not notice, he even shaved his eyebrows into beautiful arches.
By 16 his penis had become bigger and thicker, and his testes had grown big. His voice was beginning to get hoarse and his facial hair started to grow coarse. Y hated all of this. Particularly his penis. Somehow it felt very alien. It just did not seem right. For inside his mind, Y always thought of himself as a beautiful girl. A girl whom men would fall in love with, hold gently and make passionate love to. But this penis thing was a stark reminder that he was not a female. And Y wanted to remove it from his body. It simply did not belong there!
Y also started feeling the pangs of first love. He began to feel strongly attracted to a brawny senior in school. He fervently hoped the boy would let his gaze fall on him. But the boy he so much was in love with, did not take Y seriously. He thought Y was weird. A Hijra. Somebody to laugh at, poke fun at and bully mercilessly.
The boys in school seemed to realize that Y was different. They started teasing him, pinching his private parts and treated him like a girl. Some teachers even called Y home, “to just spend time with, dancing and having fun.”
Y did not like being the butt of every one’s jokes. He did not like being treated like a sex toy. He wanted to be taken seriously. Treated with dignity. But his effeminate movements and graceful gestures made others ridicule him. Even the girls laughed at him.
Y did not like going to the men’s bathroom, he felt so shy pulling his pants down in the presence of other boys. And the other boys boo’ed him so much on seeing the only masculine part of his body. Y would have preferred to go to the girl’s bathroom, he felt he belonged there. But the girls believed he was a boy, they never let him even change clothes in Ladies Room during school dramas.
It was during one such drama that Y met Z. Z was a boy, but he believed he was a girl. He dressed up like a girl, talked like one and even made gestures like a sensuous dancer. Y felt intensely drawn towards Z. He voluntarily approached Z and said, “I never thought I would meet someone who is so much like me!”
Like kindred spirits, Y and Z became thick friends. It was from Z that Y learned that he could stop growing in to a man. By taking shots of female hormones.
Y was excited on hearing that he could reverse his masculinity and become a female. “You mean I can have breasts! Like the women!”
Y had always wanted to be buxom and sexy. In fact he had on several occasions used padded brassieres and worn women’s clothes. He had even gone out in public dressed like a girl and to his great happiness, found that he could very well pass off as a girl. As long as he spoke softly and took care to apply layers of foundation on his jaws, he would easily pull off a “girl appearance”
That he could go in public dressed like a female, made him want to do that permanently. He lost in patience with the “boy’s clothes”. He found that the pretence of behaving like a boy was so taxing. He felt liberated when he was dressed like a female. He wanted that feeling forever, he wanted to convert to a full female.
Z told him that to become a full female, he had to undergo Nirvana. Nirvana was a surgery in which a man’s testes and penis would be removed. With the testes gone, his body would no longer secrete male hormones. Then all he had to do was take female hormones to get that rounded appearance of a woman. Laser treatment would help remove all unnecessary hair. Padded brassieres and knickers would make him get that hour-glass shape that he so longed to have.
Y felt very enthused on hearing this. He wanted to undergo the Nirvana surgery. But the surgery could only be done after taking psychiatric opinions. That made him meet a psychiatrist.
Y explained to the psychiatrist that he had since childhood, always felt that he had been mistakenly born with a wrong body. He felt very feminine inside, but his body forced him to be a male. He did not like that. He wanted to change his body so that it would match his mind. He wanted to become a full female.
Since Y strongly believed that he had a mind-body gender mismatch, there were only two ways to resolve the problem. One would be to change his mind, so that his body would then match. Two would be to change the body to match his mind.
Although to an outsider, it would seem that changing the mind to suit one’s body is the more acceptable solution to this problem, for people like Y it is not even thinkable. Because people like Y suffer from a strange condition called Gender Identity Disorder.
We are all born with sex chromosomes. These are a pair of chromosomes. If one is born with 2X chromosomes we call that individual biological Female Sex. If someone is born with one X and one Y chromosome then that person is biologically of the Male Sex.
But this is only a genetic definition. Society gives individuals another choice, an individual can identify oneself with the female gender or the male gender. Gender is a social role; it depends on how society expects a man or woman to behave.
If a society allows its men to wear make up and jewelry and dress in colourful costumes, as for example the ancient Egyptian society, then it would seem masculine for a girl to wear makeup. If a society only allows its females to dress up sensuously, and wear dramatic makeup, then it would seem that wearing make-up is feminine behavior.
Masculine and feminine behavior has a lot to do with social conditioning. If a society repeatedly keeps telling that cooking is a woman’s job, then it would seem effeminate for a man to cook. Whereas if the same society keeps saying that engineering is a man’s job then the very job would seem masculine.
Make-up, clothing, jewelry, cooking or engineering have no actual gender meanings. But it is the society that allots gender- specifications to these neutral entities.
What role one chooses depends on one’s gender identity; whether they think of themselves as male or female.
In the past people used to believe that genetic sex is destiny. If you were born with 2 X chromosomes, you were a female, no other choices were allowed. But now, we know that in spite of our genes, there does exist a choice. Some individuals choose to identify themselves with the opposite gender; they dress up like the opposite gender and like to have sex with the same sex.
Until recently, it was never understood why some people chose to identity with the opposite gender. But now, we have some information. Very interesting one at that. At formation, all babies are originally female, irrespective of their chromosomes. For the first 6 weeks of life inside the uterus, all babies are female. If the child happens to have a Y chromosome in its genetic makeup, then this child’s body forms organs called the Testes. These testes secrete a hormone called testosterone. This hormone then converts the baby’s body into a male. It travels all through the baby’s body and rewires every cell from its original female form to a male form. This entire process is called Masculinization.
Most importantly, the testosterone rewires the brain of the little baby and upgrades it into a masculinized Male Brain. Rarely in some cases, the testosterone fails to masculinize the baby’s brain. In these children, the brain remains female as it was originally, whereas the body changes to male -complete with the testes and penis.
Because the brain and the mind are female, this child though born with a male’s genitals, thinks of itself as a female. Hence this child prefers all feminine activities, prefers playing with girls and dressing up like them. But when it comes to sexual orientation, they are attracted to males, because in their minds they remain female forever.
Since the mind is female, it is nearly impossible to change it to male later on in life. It would be much easier to change the body to female. And that is why many individuals with Gender Identity Disorder prefer to undergo Sexual Reassignment Surgery and convert their bodies into the female form.
But converting oneself into the female form is not without adverse effects. For one, after such a conversion, the body loses the ability to secrete testosterone. Sudden dip in the testosterone levels may make the individual feel tired, weak and depressed. Of course, over time the body adapts itself to the lack of testosterone, but it takes weeks to months before this transition can take place.
Apart from that, becoming a female makes this individual vulnerable to all the social evils that threaten women. This Nirvanized female is now open to sexual harassment, eve teasing, partner abuse, relationship betrayal and all kinds of other ills that have for long plagued women. The realization that being a woman is not easy after all can make most transgender individuals feel disillusioned and exploited.
This may finally help them understand why those biological women born with 2 X chromosomes and all those voluptuous curves hate their gender roles so much. But a free society allows its citizens choices. If any individual chooses to change his/her gender, it can be done. But like all else, every action has its own consequences. If the individual is ready to face the consequences, then science is ready to help them achieve their dreams.
Girls like Ms X are so common, it is a fact the most women today would have preferred to be a boy rather than be a girl. But the curious fact is, nowadays more and more boys have started wanting to become girls.
As for example Mr Y. He is a tall, athletic and well made young man. He is intelligent, broad-minded, artistic and quite gentle. One would think girls would just love to spend time with him. But the sad twist is, he does not like to spend time with girls. Mr Y thinks he himself is a girl and likes to spend time with macho men.
From his childhood Y had always preferred to play with girls’ dolls; he liked playing with crockery, wearing frilly dresses, long hair and lots of make-up. His mother had found his play-preferences very amusing. She even helped him dress up like a girl and had taken his photographs in frilly costumes. None of those who later saw the picture could guess that the girl in the picture was actually a boy; he looked so girlish. And Y was so proud of that.
His father would for the most part ignore the son’s antics. Those days that he actually noticed his son’s effeminate tendencies, father got really angry and scolded him for behaving like a hijra. Little Y never knew what that word meant. But in his heart, he longed to become a girl. Somehow he felt it was just not right for him to be a male.
When he turned 14 years, Y started developing hair over his face. He hated that. He wanted to have a flawless skin with no whiskers. He carefully kept shaving his whiskers, and when he was sure his mother would not notice, he even shaved his eyebrows into beautiful arches.
By 16 his penis had become bigger and thicker, and his testes had grown big. His voice was beginning to get hoarse and his facial hair started to grow coarse. Y hated all of this. Particularly his penis. Somehow it felt very alien. It just did not seem right. For inside his mind, Y always thought of himself as a beautiful girl. A girl whom men would fall in love with, hold gently and make passionate love to. But this penis thing was a stark reminder that he was not a female. And Y wanted to remove it from his body. It simply did not belong there!
Y also started feeling the pangs of first love. He began to feel strongly attracted to a brawny senior in school. He fervently hoped the boy would let his gaze fall on him. But the boy he so much was in love with, did not take Y seriously. He thought Y was weird. A Hijra. Somebody to laugh at, poke fun at and bully mercilessly.
The boys in school seemed to realize that Y was different. They started teasing him, pinching his private parts and treated him like a girl. Some teachers even called Y home, “to just spend time with, dancing and having fun.”
Y did not like being the butt of every one’s jokes. He did not like being treated like a sex toy. He wanted to be taken seriously. Treated with dignity. But his effeminate movements and graceful gestures made others ridicule him. Even the girls laughed at him.
Y did not like going to the men’s bathroom, he felt so shy pulling his pants down in the presence of other boys. And the other boys boo’ed him so much on seeing the only masculine part of his body. Y would have preferred to go to the girl’s bathroom, he felt he belonged there. But the girls believed he was a boy, they never let him even change clothes in Ladies Room during school dramas.
It was during one such drama that Y met Z. Z was a boy, but he believed he was a girl. He dressed up like a girl, talked like one and even made gestures like a sensuous dancer. Y felt intensely drawn towards Z. He voluntarily approached Z and said, “I never thought I would meet someone who is so much like me!”
Like kindred spirits, Y and Z became thick friends. It was from Z that Y learned that he could stop growing in to a man. By taking shots of female hormones.
Y was excited on hearing that he could reverse his masculinity and become a female. “You mean I can have breasts! Like the women!”
Y had always wanted to be buxom and sexy. In fact he had on several occasions used padded brassieres and worn women’s clothes. He had even gone out in public dressed like a girl and to his great happiness, found that he could very well pass off as a girl. As long as he spoke softly and took care to apply layers of foundation on his jaws, he would easily pull off a “girl appearance”
That he could go in public dressed like a female, made him want to do that permanently. He lost in patience with the “boy’s clothes”. He found that the pretence of behaving like a boy was so taxing. He felt liberated when he was dressed like a female. He wanted that feeling forever, he wanted to convert to a full female.
Z told him that to become a full female, he had to undergo Nirvana. Nirvana was a surgery in which a man’s testes and penis would be removed. With the testes gone, his body would no longer secrete male hormones. Then all he had to do was take female hormones to get that rounded appearance of a woman. Laser treatment would help remove all unnecessary hair. Padded brassieres and knickers would make him get that hour-glass shape that he so longed to have.
Y felt very enthused on hearing this. He wanted to undergo the Nirvana surgery. But the surgery could only be done after taking psychiatric opinions. That made him meet a psychiatrist.
Y explained to the psychiatrist that he had since childhood, always felt that he had been mistakenly born with a wrong body. He felt very feminine inside, but his body forced him to be a male. He did not like that. He wanted to change his body so that it would match his mind. He wanted to become a full female.
Since Y strongly believed that he had a mind-body gender mismatch, there were only two ways to resolve the problem. One would be to change his mind, so that his body would then match. Two would be to change the body to match his mind.
Although to an outsider, it would seem that changing the mind to suit one’s body is the more acceptable solution to this problem, for people like Y it is not even thinkable. Because people like Y suffer from a strange condition called Gender Identity Disorder.
We are all born with sex chromosomes. These are a pair of chromosomes. If one is born with 2X chromosomes we call that individual biological Female Sex. If someone is born with one X and one Y chromosome then that person is biologically of the Male Sex.
But this is only a genetic definition. Society gives individuals another choice, an individual can identify oneself with the female gender or the male gender. Gender is a social role; it depends on how society expects a man or woman to behave.
If a society allows its men to wear make up and jewelry and dress in colourful costumes, as for example the ancient Egyptian society, then it would seem masculine for a girl to wear makeup. If a society only allows its females to dress up sensuously, and wear dramatic makeup, then it would seem that wearing make-up is feminine behavior.
Masculine and feminine behavior has a lot to do with social conditioning. If a society repeatedly keeps telling that cooking is a woman’s job, then it would seem effeminate for a man to cook. Whereas if the same society keeps saying that engineering is a man’s job then the very job would seem masculine.
Make-up, clothing, jewelry, cooking or engineering have no actual gender meanings. But it is the society that allots gender- specifications to these neutral entities.
What role one chooses depends on one’s gender identity; whether they think of themselves as male or female.
In the past people used to believe that genetic sex is destiny. If you were born with 2 X chromosomes, you were a female, no other choices were allowed. But now, we know that in spite of our genes, there does exist a choice. Some individuals choose to identify themselves with the opposite gender; they dress up like the opposite gender and like to have sex with the same sex.
Until recently, it was never understood why some people chose to identity with the opposite gender. But now, we have some information. Very interesting one at that. At formation, all babies are originally female, irrespective of their chromosomes. For the first 6 weeks of life inside the uterus, all babies are female. If the child happens to have a Y chromosome in its genetic makeup, then this child’s body forms organs called the Testes. These testes secrete a hormone called testosterone. This hormone then converts the baby’s body into a male. It travels all through the baby’s body and rewires every cell from its original female form to a male form. This entire process is called Masculinization.
Most importantly, the testosterone rewires the brain of the little baby and upgrades it into a masculinized Male Brain. Rarely in some cases, the testosterone fails to masculinize the baby’s brain. In these children, the brain remains female as it was originally, whereas the body changes to male -complete with the testes and penis.
Because the brain and the mind are female, this child though born with a male’s genitals, thinks of itself as a female. Hence this child prefers all feminine activities, prefers playing with girls and dressing up like them. But when it comes to sexual orientation, they are attracted to males, because in their minds they remain female forever.
Since the mind is female, it is nearly impossible to change it to male later on in life. It would be much easier to change the body to female. And that is why many individuals with Gender Identity Disorder prefer to undergo Sexual Reassignment Surgery and convert their bodies into the female form.
But converting oneself into the female form is not without adverse effects. For one, after such a conversion, the body loses the ability to secrete testosterone. Sudden dip in the testosterone levels may make the individual feel tired, weak and depressed. Of course, over time the body adapts itself to the lack of testosterone, but it takes weeks to months before this transition can take place.
Apart from that, becoming a female makes this individual vulnerable to all the social evils that threaten women. This Nirvanized female is now open to sexual harassment, eve teasing, partner abuse, relationship betrayal and all kinds of other ills that have for long plagued women. The realization that being a woman is not easy after all can make most transgender individuals feel disillusioned and exploited.
This may finally help them understand why those biological women born with 2 X chromosomes and all those voluptuous curves hate their gender roles so much. But a free society allows its citizens choices. If any individual chooses to change his/her gender, it can be done. But like all else, every action has its own consequences. If the individual is ready to face the consequences, then science is ready to help them achieve their dreams.
Tuesday, 1 July 2008
The Dumb Tamil Girl
Mrs X and Mr Y are both well educated and are well placed in their careers. They had been in love for over two years and after negotiating talks with their respective families, arranged for their marriage. After about three months of marriage, they landed up in a psychiatric clinic for marital consultation. The reason for consultation was, according to the wife, “He never understands me. I feel so sad. Sometimes I wonder why on earth I got married!” The husband’s r.f.c. was, “She never obeys me doctor. She thinks too much of herself. She has an attitude problem. She is not at all like the ideal Tamil wife. Unless she mends her ways, I think this marriage is going to end up in divorce…”
It is not like Mrs X and Mr Y are a rare couple. Nowadays, so many young couples come for consultations, from so many different backgrounds - all for the same reason. Wives are sad and feel unappreciated by the husbands and the husbands are irritated and grumpy as they feel slighted by their wife’s independent thinking. The reason: a gross mismatch in their expectations. Most wives expect a loving, understanding, modern man for a husband. A man who will appreciate her mind as much as he appreciates her body; a man who will respect her as a person and treat her with dignity. Reasonable as this sounds, these expectations directly clash with those of the husbands’.
Not all, but most men still expect a subservient, docile and timid wife who will obey her husband no matter what. A wife who will meekly follow her husband’s instructions without offering any suggestions of her own. In case the wife uses her mind a wee bit and gives an idea or offers a suggestion, some men feel affronted. And immediately try to cut the wife back to size by saying, “unakku romba thimir, that is why you are talking like this.” This immediately brings a gush of words and a rush of tears from the wife and there starts many a matrimonial malady!
For example, Mrs X had to book a train ticket to visit her parent’s place. She is twenty-eight years old. She has been reserving tickets on her own for years now and so without much ado, she logged on to the website and make an e-booking. When the tickets arrived by courier, the husband got furious, “How dare you book the ticket without my knowledge! Unakku rumba thimiraayiduchchi!” he started scolding her for that. The wife was stumped. What was so wrong about booking one’s own tickets?
Well, I asked Mr Y, what was so wrong about it? “There is nothing wrong doctor. But she should have first discussed that with me! Am I not the man of the house? If she goes on like this, taking decisions without first getting my permission, then what respect do I have?”
“Did she not tell you about her plans before hand?”
“She did, actually we decided on this trip a week ago. But I was under the impression that I’ll make the reservations. That is how it happens in my house. But this girl, she directly went ahead and got the tickets on her own! How dare she do that!”
“Does reserving one’s own ticket mean that the wife is disrespecting her husband?”
“Not in that sense, but yes, I feel disrespected. If she can do all the man’s work all on her own, then why does she need a husband. To me it seems like she is trying to act too smart and superior. My mother would never have done such a thing. It was always me or my father who would reserve tickets for her. I have never heard of any Tamil girl behaving like this, as if she knows everything.”
This idea of the Ideal Tamil Girl is the root cause for so many marital problems. And the sad part is, most men have no idea about the real Tamil Girl, they have never read the right books or spoken to the right people on this subject. All their knowledge comes from the media portrayals of women. And since most media representations show only a mythical version of the Tamil woman, the impossibly timid, shy, docile and imbecile girl, with no capacity to take her own decision, the average male believes that such women do exist in reality. From MGR who sang, “Even if the girl has studied English, this is how she must be in Tamil Nadu….” to later stars like Rajnikanth and Vijay, the matinee idols always keep spreading false ideas about the Tamil women. Which is not surprising, for all these men are not experts on Tamil Anthropology, how could they know about the Real Tamil Woman?
One only has to go through Tamil literature through the ages to have a glimpse of the Original Tamil Woman. From the Sangam literature of the second century AD to the Bakti literature of the eighth century to the modern literature of the last century, Tamil women have always been brave, intelligent and witty. Avvaiyar, the poetess not only sang beautiful poetry, but also was a peace maker who negotiated truce between battling kings of early Tamilnadu. Mangaiyarkkarasi, the elder sister of saint Appar was so well versed in the religious scriptures that she taught her brother the greatness of Saivism. Andal the young Vishnu devotee who sang the Thiruppaavai was an excellent poet. Kundavai Devi, the elder sister of Raja Raja Cholan was the woman behind his every success. Rani Velu Nachiyar, the Queen of Sivaganga went to war with the British. And Rani Mangamma ruled Madurai on her own. All these were the Real Tamil women, gutsy, brave and all with a mind of their own.
If these were the extraordinary women of Tamil Nadu, the ordinary women were no less smart. In every Tamil household, although to an outsider it seems that the man of the house is making the decisions and heading the family, we all know that it is the woman whose decisions finally win handsdown. Be it the illiterate village woman who saves up money without her alcoholic husband’s knowledge just to make sure that her children get to eat good food, or the city dweller who goes to a boring job just to make ends meet for her family, women have always been enterprising, intelligent and hard working.
And it is not by accident that women are so enterprising. The females have by default been designed to be better survivors. Because it is the female that brings forth life, unless she survives, life cannot exist. And so among all species of life on earth today, it is the female of the species that is better suited for survival than the male. For only if a woman knows to survive, any children born to her will survive.
That is the reason why women’s education has always been a priority in every governments. For only if a woman is educated and has up to date knowledge about her world, her children will have the benefit of better survival. It is a fact that only those countries that have a female high literacy rate have a good economy, the stock exchange rates in these countries are high. Whereas those countries with poor women’s literacy do not even feature on the stock market. The reason is obvious. Intelligent mothers rear intelligent children, intelligent children have new ideas that sell well, and so the stock markets surge!
Such being the case, it is quite sad that young men today, believe in the myth of the Dumb Tamil Girl and force their wives to play that impossible role. They want to control their wife’s every move and push them into dependant, subservient roles. Of course, it is not that these men are mean and hence they want boss over their wives. It is just that, the popular media depicts women as silly sizzies and just like many stereotypes that we learn from the media, men mistakenly believe that such dumb women make better wives.
This is completely untrue. Let me give you a real life example. Mrs Q was the just the stuff that Tamil songs sing about, extremely beautiful with oodles of accham, matam, naanam and payirpppu. Her husband told me outright, “I am sick and tired of her doctor, I do not want to live with her anymore!”
“Why do you say that?”
“She is so dumb doctor, that I have no peace of mind. She is always pestering me for everything. She cannot go to the shop and get the groceries on her own. I need to do that for her. She cannot hail an auto and take the children for a checkup. I have to do that. I am only one person. I have to go to work, take care of paying all bills, I must find time to take care of children, and then I also have to find time to run errands for her. Why can’t she use her brain and do her work on her own? This morning the child fell sick and has been wheezing for hours now. I had got her a cell phone and even taught her to use it. Neither did she take the child to the doctor on her own, nor did she call me! What can I do with a dumb idiot like this? What if I had lost my child! Please you make her alright doctor, otherwise my children are going to suffer because of her stupidity…”
This is the reality of the Dumb Tamil Girl. She may be a big massage to your ego. Her innocence and dependence can make a man feel smarter, bigger, braver and better. But the price one has to pay for this ego boost is lifelong loss of peace. And a breed of inadequately mothered dull children.
In the past, women were never educated. Even if they did go to school, the day they became a “big girl” they’d drop out. Soon after that they’d get married. They had no employment. They were completely dependent on their husbands for every one of their meals. That dependent role made them treat their husbands like their masters, not out of love, but of fear! The husbands might have enjoyed all the pampering they got from their subservient wives. But the quality of life of the last century Indians was very low. Children died by the millions just because of their mother’s ignorance. Even those children that survived led very low quality lives. India remained a poor country and its people were not very smart. They were invaded by foreigners one after the other. It was only after women’s education became a priority that the quality of life of Indians has improved. Today, what with governmental policies, job opportunities and improved economy, women are making big strides ahead in life. Unlike the women in the past, today’s women are more educated, can put their trained minds to good use, are quite independent and very efficient. The country has spent years of planning and implementation to put Indian women where they stand today.
All these efforts were just so that these women make smarter mothers and their children can build a stronger nation. This is the big picture. Once we understand that, we can escape petty egoistic thoughts about keeping the women under control and actually congratulate the wives who reserve their own tickets without nagging their husbands. We can appreciate the women for using their brains and giving their husbands good ideas. We can feel proud that within sixty years of independence we have uplifted our women from illiterate, helpless, easily exploited lots into self-thinking, smart beings who can herald a new era of Indian superpowerdom.
An intelligent man will always move with the times. Otherwise, like the dinosaurs that stopped evolving and just went extinct, men will get stuck back in time and get lost in their search for the mythical Dumb Tamil Girl who never exists in the real world.
Most men upgrade themselves quickly and learn to look at women as equals. They evolve into better beings and begin to appreciate their wives for their minds and feel proud of their achievements. These men who evolve and adapt to the changing times are the ones that are fit for survival.
But then, there are also some other men who still cling on to the past and keep saying, “My mother never did that, my mother never used that…I want my wife to be just like that ” The sad truth is, such men are just proving that they are unfit for survival….for survival is all about adapting to the changes that happen around us. All over the world, women are being uplifted, improved and updated. A fit man will adapt himself to suit these evolved women, and the human race will move ahead in evolutionary times. Those men who refuse to adapt and will not learn, will simply be left behind as losers.
Marriage is an ultimate test for survival. Those who are willing to adapt, learn new ways of behavior and move with the times survive and survive well. What about you?
It is not like Mrs X and Mr Y are a rare couple. Nowadays, so many young couples come for consultations, from so many different backgrounds - all for the same reason. Wives are sad and feel unappreciated by the husbands and the husbands are irritated and grumpy as they feel slighted by their wife’s independent thinking. The reason: a gross mismatch in their expectations. Most wives expect a loving, understanding, modern man for a husband. A man who will appreciate her mind as much as he appreciates her body; a man who will respect her as a person and treat her with dignity. Reasonable as this sounds, these expectations directly clash with those of the husbands’.
Not all, but most men still expect a subservient, docile and timid wife who will obey her husband no matter what. A wife who will meekly follow her husband’s instructions without offering any suggestions of her own. In case the wife uses her mind a wee bit and gives an idea or offers a suggestion, some men feel affronted. And immediately try to cut the wife back to size by saying, “unakku romba thimir, that is why you are talking like this.” This immediately brings a gush of words and a rush of tears from the wife and there starts many a matrimonial malady!
For example, Mrs X had to book a train ticket to visit her parent’s place. She is twenty-eight years old. She has been reserving tickets on her own for years now and so without much ado, she logged on to the website and make an e-booking. When the tickets arrived by courier, the husband got furious, “How dare you book the ticket without my knowledge! Unakku rumba thimiraayiduchchi!” he started scolding her for that. The wife was stumped. What was so wrong about booking one’s own tickets?
Well, I asked Mr Y, what was so wrong about it? “There is nothing wrong doctor. But she should have first discussed that with me! Am I not the man of the house? If she goes on like this, taking decisions without first getting my permission, then what respect do I have?”
“Did she not tell you about her plans before hand?”
“She did, actually we decided on this trip a week ago. But I was under the impression that I’ll make the reservations. That is how it happens in my house. But this girl, she directly went ahead and got the tickets on her own! How dare she do that!”
“Does reserving one’s own ticket mean that the wife is disrespecting her husband?”
“Not in that sense, but yes, I feel disrespected. If she can do all the man’s work all on her own, then why does she need a husband. To me it seems like she is trying to act too smart and superior. My mother would never have done such a thing. It was always me or my father who would reserve tickets for her. I have never heard of any Tamil girl behaving like this, as if she knows everything.”
This idea of the Ideal Tamil Girl is the root cause for so many marital problems. And the sad part is, most men have no idea about the real Tamil Girl, they have never read the right books or spoken to the right people on this subject. All their knowledge comes from the media portrayals of women. And since most media representations show only a mythical version of the Tamil woman, the impossibly timid, shy, docile and imbecile girl, with no capacity to take her own decision, the average male believes that such women do exist in reality. From MGR who sang, “Even if the girl has studied English, this is how she must be in Tamil Nadu….” to later stars like Rajnikanth and Vijay, the matinee idols always keep spreading false ideas about the Tamil women. Which is not surprising, for all these men are not experts on Tamil Anthropology, how could they know about the Real Tamil Woman?
One only has to go through Tamil literature through the ages to have a glimpse of the Original Tamil Woman. From the Sangam literature of the second century AD to the Bakti literature of the eighth century to the modern literature of the last century, Tamil women have always been brave, intelligent and witty. Avvaiyar, the poetess not only sang beautiful poetry, but also was a peace maker who negotiated truce between battling kings of early Tamilnadu. Mangaiyarkkarasi, the elder sister of saint Appar was so well versed in the religious scriptures that she taught her brother the greatness of Saivism. Andal the young Vishnu devotee who sang the Thiruppaavai was an excellent poet. Kundavai Devi, the elder sister of Raja Raja Cholan was the woman behind his every success. Rani Velu Nachiyar, the Queen of Sivaganga went to war with the British. And Rani Mangamma ruled Madurai on her own. All these were the Real Tamil women, gutsy, brave and all with a mind of their own.
If these were the extraordinary women of Tamil Nadu, the ordinary women were no less smart. In every Tamil household, although to an outsider it seems that the man of the house is making the decisions and heading the family, we all know that it is the woman whose decisions finally win handsdown. Be it the illiterate village woman who saves up money without her alcoholic husband’s knowledge just to make sure that her children get to eat good food, or the city dweller who goes to a boring job just to make ends meet for her family, women have always been enterprising, intelligent and hard working.
And it is not by accident that women are so enterprising. The females have by default been designed to be better survivors. Because it is the female that brings forth life, unless she survives, life cannot exist. And so among all species of life on earth today, it is the female of the species that is better suited for survival than the male. For only if a woman knows to survive, any children born to her will survive.
That is the reason why women’s education has always been a priority in every governments. For only if a woman is educated and has up to date knowledge about her world, her children will have the benefit of better survival. It is a fact that only those countries that have a female high literacy rate have a good economy, the stock exchange rates in these countries are high. Whereas those countries with poor women’s literacy do not even feature on the stock market. The reason is obvious. Intelligent mothers rear intelligent children, intelligent children have new ideas that sell well, and so the stock markets surge!
Such being the case, it is quite sad that young men today, believe in the myth of the Dumb Tamil Girl and force their wives to play that impossible role. They want to control their wife’s every move and push them into dependant, subservient roles. Of course, it is not that these men are mean and hence they want boss over their wives. It is just that, the popular media depicts women as silly sizzies and just like many stereotypes that we learn from the media, men mistakenly believe that such dumb women make better wives.
This is completely untrue. Let me give you a real life example. Mrs Q was the just the stuff that Tamil songs sing about, extremely beautiful with oodles of accham, matam, naanam and payirpppu. Her husband told me outright, “I am sick and tired of her doctor, I do not want to live with her anymore!”
“Why do you say that?”
“She is so dumb doctor, that I have no peace of mind. She is always pestering me for everything. She cannot go to the shop and get the groceries on her own. I need to do that for her. She cannot hail an auto and take the children for a checkup. I have to do that. I am only one person. I have to go to work, take care of paying all bills, I must find time to take care of children, and then I also have to find time to run errands for her. Why can’t she use her brain and do her work on her own? This morning the child fell sick and has been wheezing for hours now. I had got her a cell phone and even taught her to use it. Neither did she take the child to the doctor on her own, nor did she call me! What can I do with a dumb idiot like this? What if I had lost my child! Please you make her alright doctor, otherwise my children are going to suffer because of her stupidity…”
This is the reality of the Dumb Tamil Girl. She may be a big massage to your ego. Her innocence and dependence can make a man feel smarter, bigger, braver and better. But the price one has to pay for this ego boost is lifelong loss of peace. And a breed of inadequately mothered dull children.
In the past, women were never educated. Even if they did go to school, the day they became a “big girl” they’d drop out. Soon after that they’d get married. They had no employment. They were completely dependent on their husbands for every one of their meals. That dependent role made them treat their husbands like their masters, not out of love, but of fear! The husbands might have enjoyed all the pampering they got from their subservient wives. But the quality of life of the last century Indians was very low. Children died by the millions just because of their mother’s ignorance. Even those children that survived led very low quality lives. India remained a poor country and its people were not very smart. They were invaded by foreigners one after the other. It was only after women’s education became a priority that the quality of life of Indians has improved. Today, what with governmental policies, job opportunities and improved economy, women are making big strides ahead in life. Unlike the women in the past, today’s women are more educated, can put their trained minds to good use, are quite independent and very efficient. The country has spent years of planning and implementation to put Indian women where they stand today.
All these efforts were just so that these women make smarter mothers and their children can build a stronger nation. This is the big picture. Once we understand that, we can escape petty egoistic thoughts about keeping the women under control and actually congratulate the wives who reserve their own tickets without nagging their husbands. We can appreciate the women for using their brains and giving their husbands good ideas. We can feel proud that within sixty years of independence we have uplifted our women from illiterate, helpless, easily exploited lots into self-thinking, smart beings who can herald a new era of Indian superpowerdom.
An intelligent man will always move with the times. Otherwise, like the dinosaurs that stopped evolving and just went extinct, men will get stuck back in time and get lost in their search for the mythical Dumb Tamil Girl who never exists in the real world.
Most men upgrade themselves quickly and learn to look at women as equals. They evolve into better beings and begin to appreciate their wives for their minds and feel proud of their achievements. These men who evolve and adapt to the changing times are the ones that are fit for survival.
But then, there are also some other men who still cling on to the past and keep saying, “My mother never did that, my mother never used that…I want my wife to be just like that ” The sad truth is, such men are just proving that they are unfit for survival….for survival is all about adapting to the changes that happen around us. All over the world, women are being uplifted, improved and updated. A fit man will adapt himself to suit these evolved women, and the human race will move ahead in evolutionary times. Those men who refuse to adapt and will not learn, will simply be left behind as losers.
Marriage is an ultimate test for survival. Those who are willing to adapt, learn new ways of behavior and move with the times survive and survive well. What about you?
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